spt challenge

ok, so i'm going to admit that i had a really hard time with this week's SPT challenge from lelly...

is there a part of you, a part of your home, a part of your creativity that gets more attention from you than anything else? when you look at your reflection, do you automatically zoom in on a feature you love or you loathe? when you are in your creative space, is there one project that gets your attention before all the others?

so, when it comes to my life, i would have to say that i spend a lot of time trying to keep track of six schedules without forgetting anything and without going crazy. this translates to a full planner that has to be updated several times a day or i lose my footing. i have adhd which means i forget everything unless it is written down, hence the loaded planner full of little notes like "finish yw project" two weeks before it needs to be done because i know i'll forget between now and then if i don't remind myself now. i do love to look back on past planners,especially the really ridiculously busy days and think, i did it, we did it, i juggled all of that and it turned out ok. i also think that in the life of a SAHM, i often feel so unstructured that it's difficult to track what i've done all day and the planner provides some sort of evidence that i am needed in this family and that i do get things done. i think that's why i love blogging so much, documenting what i do and why i matter.

on to my reflection... the feature that gets the most attention right now is my hair, hands down. this is partly because it is so long that it takes more time to blow dry and style than anything else. this maybe seems silly or vane, maybe it is, but i'm willing to give it a few of my precious minutes each day because right now, i really feel like it's the only pretty thing i have going for me! that sounds an awful lot like self-pitty which is not really what i'm going for here. don't you go through phases where nothing about you feels great? right now, this is what my hair is doing for me, it makes me feel like, at least i have a feature, on the outside anyway, i know i'm drop dead gorgeous on the inside! he he. my hair helps makes me feel feminine during a time that i feel totally out of control with my weight, which, unfortunately is how i often gauge my self-worth, so dumb i know but it's hard to correct old habits. technically, these photographs are not self portaits, allie helped me take them while i was getting ready for the day. when i was looking through them trying to choose which ones to post, i laughed because they look so much like the memories i have of watching my mother get ready in the mirror! when i looked at these photos close up i was surprised to find that they say to me, i don't really feel very pretty. it's just a phase, it will pass, but for now, hey at least have great hair! i would never have thought of any of this if it weren't for the spt. some times i need a picture to see myself clearly, hence the need for SPTs, thanks lelly for the great journaling spring board you provide every week, even when the results are difficult to face.

**was this spt hard for you?**

**do you think i'm wallowing in self pitty after reading this?**

(i'm really not, but this post is kind of a bummer i agree)