memory lane

i was asked to make a slide show video thing for new beginnings of the new beehives who entered yw this last year. it was suppose to include 15 or so photographs from baby to now and allie and i had way too much fun looking through all of her scrapbooks and other pictures trying to choose just the right ones. it was tough but we narrowed it down. since i already took the time to scan them all in - bleh - i figured i might as well post them. looking back on old photos is one of my most favorite things to do, so many happy memories and some even forgotten! we laughed and laughed and took forever to look through every last one. here are the ones we chose...

fatty baby...

this was so typical allie that year, always pouting...this is one of my favorite photographs of her ever...always in pink...ballerina girl...the year of the freckles...

little and big sister...her late night mud mask phase...(i have tons of these pics)the corbin bleu look like for her HSM2 party...her best friend lauren...my recent favorite - thanks kayleen!

anyway, it was so hard to narrow it down, there were many, many that i loved. it inspired me to maybe to more "memory lane" type blog entries to force me to document some of the great photographs or memories of the past thirteen years with children. motherhood is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. it saved my life really, it forced me to calm down and be responsible, all because i wanted a stable enviornement for taylor to grow up in. thirteen years later, it's still saving my life. they are the reason i get out of bed in the morning.

**do you love to look through old photographs?**

**how do you feel about mother/parenthood?**

**has your daughter gone through the mud mask phase?**

SPT - what's in a name?

the "t" in SPT can stand for thursday right? so this is a self portait thursday because i'm a little behind this week. lelly's spt for this week was how your blog got it's name. mine is so easy because several years ago i had to do a scrapbook presentation for our stake's women's conference. i was trying to show other women that it is important to include yourself in your scrapbook, some day the pages about you will be the most precious to your children. so, i did this layout about myself entitled "the view from my lens". the journaling reads:

It is true that I am definitely guilty of seeing the world through the lens of my camera. Special events are really just "photo-ops" for me, a good excuse to snap some pictures. This picture of me is probably a pretty accurate reflection of how my kids will remember me, behind my camera. But truth be told, I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't pin-point exactly what it is about photography that I love so much, the subjects, the lighting, the pure ART of it all. But, I do know that when a pictures come back with all of the right elements, I get a rush of adrenaline that's better than ice cream. My skill has improved over the years, but I still have lots to learn. Hopefully my kids will not grow too weary of posing and they might even appreciate some of the precious moments I have been able to capture.

Since this blog is really just a digital scrapbook/journal kind of a thing, "the view from my lens" seemed like an appropriate title. many of my moments, as a mother, a wife, and especially a photographer are experienced through my view finder. and that's ok with me, it's one of my biggest joys.

**is your hobby better than ice cream?**

baby tricks

ethan's latest tricks include saying "please" which sounds more like "pays", but when you're in speech therapy, everything counts. saying "bu-bye-yo-ee-yo" and "hi". and he loves giving zerberts. it's so disgusting, he slimes off my make-up every time, but it's so funny i can't help but laugh my head off. he thinks it's pretty funny too. he won't give rich a zerbert though because his face is too prickly. he saves his slobber for the softest cheeks, lucky me!

**how do you feel about baby drool?**

**do you sometimes feel shocked about how time is flying by?**

long haired hooligans

it started over the summer some time, the boys missed their hair cuts and i never re-scheduled them for some reason. then taylor says, i kind of like my hair a little longer, i think i would like to grow it out. spencer does everything taylor does, so of course, he's in on it too. so i figure, whatever, it's summer, who cares right? so before school starts rich insists that they at least get a trim which was fine, but since then neither of these boys have had a cut. they both really love their long hair. i told taylor as long as he was still going to church and passing the sacrament and getting good grades that his long hair didn't bother me one bit. and it doesn't, it bothers rich though and they get plenty of razzing from the family about it which they take in stride. i think i like their long hair because it says they have a bit of a rebellious streak in them which isn't really a terrible thing. so at spencer's basketball game, i was noticing how funny spencer's hair was all flailing around and how when he got sweaty it looked like an old man comb over king of thing on his forehead. then friday taylor came home from school and announced he was ready for a trim. spencer was not, but i told him he could either get a trim with no complaining or be shaved bawled and complain all he wanted. he chose the trim. so today, my boys went from this...

to this...

to this...

so it's still pretty long, but whatever, i'm fine with that. they do look a litle zac efron-ish if you ask me. since he's america's heart throb right now that can't be entirely bad right?

**how do you feel about boys with long hair?**

**how do you express your inner rebel?**

can you say air polution?

on saturday i had a serious surge of productivity despite the frigid temperature outside. i cleaned the garage! i didn't even take a before pictures, one because i was so focused on working that i wasn't even thinking about blogging (shocking) and two that because if i had thought about it, i would've been to embarrassed to let anyone see how crazy it had gotten. mostly furniture and unpacked boxes, but the formal room is done, so the furniture is getting put back or sold and the boxes are getting unpacked! i love it! someday we may even be able to park there - what a concept! during my productivity, ethan couldn't stand to be left inside so after some bundling i let him loose to play out front where i could see him. he has been afraid of the snow so far so i was kind of surprised to round the corner to find this...ethan's first taste of snow. gross, but i guess it's something every kid has to try, just like playing in the toilet water. have i mentioned how i love this winter hat?

double the fun

we've been begging for a chance to tend josh and lisa's twins one to give them a much needed and deserved break and two because they're just so cute! plus we love that cutie sydney and we knew she would come if the babies did. so for christmas rich and i had their names and we gave them dinner and a movie alng with a baby sitting gift ceritificate to go along with it. really it was a sneaky way to get them to let us tend the cuties. so friday was the big day! they came a little while before rich got home from work so allie and i had them to ourselves. we had a little bit of a rocky start, let's just say that natalie is a bit of a mama's girl, but we popped in a baby einstein dvd and gave ethan and sydney suckers and everyone was happy! i'm not below bribery. at one point, both babies were fussing and then ethan fell down and needed his mama, so allie handled both babies at once! she rocks. of course, she was telling me, "put down the camera and come grab one of these guys before i drop one!" but she was still awesome! the BEST part of the whole night was putting both babies in their bumbo seats - best baby invention ever btw - and feeding them dinner. i wish some how i could've taken a photo but they were both like hungry little birds crying in between bites because we couldn't feed them fast enough! i just kept laughing and laughing, rich was just shaking his head, hopefully their parents will get that on video to have for later, just so cute. ok, so it was so much fun but i have no idea how josh and lisa do this all day every day! they're like super parents!

cheering section

a month or so before christmas, one of spencer's buddies invited him down to the church with a bunch of other friends to play some basketball. a few days later i get a call from this buddie's dad inviting spencer to play on the competition bball team he is putting together. it turns out the casual basketball game was really an opportunity for the dad (coach) to see who had skills and who didn't. spencer of course was super excited to play, he really is an athlete at heart, he would participate in every sport if we let him and he's not half bad at whatever he decides to try. i have always loved going to my kids' sporting events, dance recitals, school programs, whatever. i love it. basketball is rough for me because i don't understand the technical stuff very well and so i never know what to cheer? i'm asking rich, is he supposed to be covering that kid over there or is this zone defense? rich doesn't answer me because he would prefer if his loud wife didn't do any yelling at the game, his answer, "let the coach yell the instructions". ok, that probably makes the most sense but still, "go spencer" only gets me so far. i guess as long as spencer has fun right? he also loves that he's playing with isaac, his best friend and a spit-fire of a basketball player! (red shorts) he's usually so quiet that it was funny to see this demon bball player emerge from such a tiny body. ethan made going to sporting events a little more difficult as a baby but let me tell you, toddlerhood is WAY worse. we pretty much had to assign allie or taylor to follow him in the halls because he kept chucking stuff on to the court, like my keys, and buzz light year. stinky kid.this was one of the only times he was actually interested in what was happening, the rest of the time it was up the bleachers, down the bleachers, up the bleachers, fall down the bleachers. the whole point of this is to say that i love being part of the cheering section, with or without a toddler. go spencer!

spt challenge

ok, so i'm going to admit that i had a really hard time with this week's SPT challenge from lelly...

is there a part of you, a part of your home, a part of your creativity that gets more attention from you than anything else? when you look at your reflection, do you automatically zoom in on a feature you love or you loathe? when you are in your creative space, is there one project that gets your attention before all the others?

so, when it comes to my life, i would have to say that i spend a lot of time trying to keep track of six schedules without forgetting anything and without going crazy. this translates to a full planner that has to be updated several times a day or i lose my footing. i have adhd which means i forget everything unless it is written down, hence the loaded planner full of little notes like "finish yw project" two weeks before it needs to be done because i know i'll forget between now and then if i don't remind myself now. i do love to look back on past planners,especially the really ridiculously busy days and think, i did it, we did it, i juggled all of that and it turned out ok. i also think that in the life of a SAHM, i often feel so unstructured that it's difficult to track what i've done all day and the planner provides some sort of evidence that i am needed in this family and that i do get things done. i think that's why i love blogging so much, documenting what i do and why i matter.

on to my reflection... the feature that gets the most attention right now is my hair, hands down. this is partly because it is so long that it takes more time to blow dry and style than anything else. this maybe seems silly or vane, maybe it is, but i'm willing to give it a few of my precious minutes each day because right now, i really feel like it's the only pretty thing i have going for me! that sounds an awful lot like self-pitty which is not really what i'm going for here. don't you go through phases where nothing about you feels great? right now, this is what my hair is doing for me, it makes me feel like, at least i have a feature, on the outside anyway, i know i'm drop dead gorgeous on the inside! he he. my hair helps makes me feel feminine during a time that i feel totally out of control with my weight, which, unfortunately is how i often gauge my self-worth, so dumb i know but it's hard to correct old habits. technically, these photographs are not self portaits, allie helped me take them while i was getting ready for the day. when i was looking through them trying to choose which ones to post, i laughed because they look so much like the memories i have of watching my mother get ready in the mirror! when i looked at these photos close up i was surprised to find that they say to me, i don't really feel very pretty. it's just a phase, it will pass, but for now, hey at least have great hair! i would never have thought of any of this if it weren't for the spt. some times i need a picture to see myself clearly, hence the need for SPTs, thanks lelly for the great journaling spring board you provide every week, even when the results are difficult to face.

**was this spt hard for you?**

**do you think i'm wallowing in self pitty after reading this?**

(i'm really not, but this post is kind of a bummer i agree)

no, it's MY turn to use the staple gun!

since we've had to move playgroup indoors the last few months, the sister-in-laws have decided that we could spend the time doing a little craft of some sort, especially since we had so much fun doing the apples for mom's tree. it started with the children doing a few christmas crafts like this snow globe made out of tiny ornaments, glitter, liquid glycerin (which you can only find in the enema section of the drug store - lovely), and a baby food jar. but the moms have since moved on to crafts for us because the kids just want to play. last week we made some adorable paper flowers at my house (i learned how to make them at a heartland class), these are jenny's darling creations. and this week, we made these fun bulletin boards at jenny's house.we all agreed that using the staple gun was the best part because it makes you feel sort of powerful. andrea tried to hog it the whole time but i made her share to set a good example for the children. :) jki'm completely incapable of doing the ribbon that crosses over the front, thank goodness jenny was there to save me. we had so much fun and now, i get to find a place in my kitchen (where it matches) to hang it and have yet another place to display the cutie faces that i love so much! i have to say that the fun crafts have been just a bonus of our little get togethers, i have really enjoyed having a chance to spend time just as sister-in-laws. next year we are working the playgroup date out to include lisa because this year, unfortunately, all the pre-school schedules didn't quite match up. it has been a great opportunity for ethan to play (and by play i mean learn to share) with the other cousins and for me to get to know my sisters more like girlfriends which i have really enjoyed. good times. i'm just kidding about ann being a staple gun hog.

**do you have awesome sister-in-laws too?**

**have you ever used a staple gun?**

**what's your favorite easy craft to make (i need some ideas)**

eleven years ago today...

Happy Birthday Spencer! Eleven years ago today I was happily delivering a ten day over due baby boy. I have to say that it was the easiest delivery of my baby having career, and he came out just so happy and content - as long as he was EATING. This boy ate, and continues to eat like no other, but he's as stocky as a tree trunk so maybe that has something to do with it. I will never forget this time in my life, it was not as easy period, but Spencer was such a happy baby that he brought me so much joy during such a rough time. Some of my fondest memories of Spencer being an infant are the late night feedings and rockings when everyone else was asleep and it was just the two of us.

Last night we got together with my family for the traditional birthday dinner on the Sunday that's closest to your birthday. We had spaghetti of course, Spencer's favorite food ever. Today wasn't quite as glamorous, but there were presents including some blue basketball shorts that made him ask, "are these BYU-ish?" and made me laugh. Sure, they can be BYU-ish if you'd like, they're blue so I guess that counts! He has also been into sledding a ton with friends this winter so he actually asked for a sled and I was happy to deliver something that didn't require electricity although he did also get a new Wii game.

Eleven things I LOVE about Spencer...

1. He is the most grumpy and the most happy person I know.

2. He wants to be and usually is a great big brother to Ethan.

3. He would sacrifice food and air to be able to play Nintendo 24/7.

4. He is brave enough to be true blue BYU in a house full of Utah fans!

5. He can play the piano upside down and backwards.

6. He is always available for a hug, big bear hugs too.

7. He is almost always our hardest worker during Saturday morning chores.

8. He is such a hot dog.

9. He always wants to include everyone - he is a good friend.
10. He has the most beautiful green eyes.
11. He has an infectious laugh that I can hear all the way upstairs!
WE LOVE YOU SPENCER!

early morning dose of guilt

i'm giving myself permission this new year to to let go of capital letters in my blog entries. they just slow me down and without them it feels more like my real journal. with that said, this morning came a little too early for me because ethan wasn't the best sleeper last night. i woke up at 6:30 and went down to wake up taylor who was sawing logs. i have always hated having to wake my kids up, it started when they were babies but it's not any easier with teenagers. i just want to let them rest. i told him i would make his lunch but then i needed to lay back down for a few minutes. well, the next thing i knew, allie was kissing me good bye, then spencer, then rich. i slept until 8:45! i'm a terrible mother. rich was up and getting ready with them so it wasn't like they were parentless this morning, but it still makes me feel guilty not to have at least seen them out the door. taylor did leave alone this morning, he leaves a little earlier than the rest of them, and when i came downstairs i found this note from taylor. silly for me to feel weepy about something simple like this, but i swear motherhood is the most thankless job and things like this are just so great every once and a while. too bad things like this always come when i least deserve them! i love this boy.

under construction

I guess it's maybe the new year, but the green look of my blog just wasn't suiting my needs any more. It used to soothe me, now it's just getting on my nerves. Plus, I take enough great photographs that I thought I ought to rotate through with my header. I'll figure that out later, for now, I just need clean white space. Yay that feels good.

don't stop believin'

Everyone who knows me, well, maybe most of you know that I'm a Steve Perry fan. (btw, doesn't this photograph just take your back?) The other day "don't stop believin'" (one of my faves) came on the radio when I was dropping Taylor off at James' house. I start screaming like an obsessed girl-fan in the audience at a Beatles concert and Taylor just rolls his eyes and says, "mom is this a Journey song?" Not just a Journey song Taylor, a Journey song, you gotta say it like it smells good enough to eat! I know this is wierd because I generally don't love the 80's rock era, I've been know to refer to it as the "overly used and abused synthesizer era", but there's just something about Steve Perry's voice that gets me every time. No one else can sing like that baby! Kathy Z is one of my favorite blogs to check in on, I laugh outloud to no one else in the office almost every time I read her. So imagine how my love for her soared when I read this. I too am a "super-fan". I miss him too Kath, I miss him too. Where is he by the way? I had to look it up on line because I thought for a long time he had died! I also really enjoyed her entry on New Year's Resolutions, especially the cursing resolution which is a little PG-13 so be warned. Do you know that the music note he wears around his neck was a good luck charm given to him by his mother? If you were a fan you would know this information. Just kidding, I read it on Wikipedia when I looked him up.

**do you miss Steve Perry too?**

**what surprise song on the radio makes your scream like a beatles girl?**

the pretty and not-so-pretty sides of snow

We all have seen beautiful snow photographs, beautiful landscapes, trees that look like they're decorated for Christmas, each branch perfectly attended to. The pretty side of snow. You know what I mean right?

Yup, kind of like these, kind of. So, I woke up bright and early this morning, well maybe not bright but it was definitely early, before the sun counts as early. I noticed the bucket loads of snow we got in the middle of the night and decided to head outside to shovel while the sun came up. It was a beautiful site. Until it started snowing again while I was shovelling. I had to shovel everything TWICE, I hate that! Well, I was soaked to the bone by the time I was done and when I came inside and caught my reflection in the mirror, I started laughing outloud. Woooo-weeeee! The thing that happens to your hair under a hoodie while you're shovelling? That would be the not-so-pretty side of snow.

Today is a fantastic day to have a sore throat and a baby with a runny nose. There's snow, tons and tons of snow outside and I think I'm just going to stay inside today...at least until 3:25 when my "second shift" starts.