just a little guy, kind of

i'm having a hard time believing it myself.
but it's true!

my little ethan man, e-dog, big E, tail ender, caboose, BABY

is FIVE years old today.

and i know this, because he's been counting down the days.

in a high pitched squealy voice that becomes less audible with each number closer to one.

hillarious.

the day started (for him) with a funny phone call from the neighbors seconds after he woke up.

he chose mc-a-dee's for lunch (mcdonalds)

enjoyed tons of well wishing phone calls throughout the day

and FINALLY opened presents after dinner.

the theme was toy story, of course.

and we moved into the big leagues with a new bike.

the neighbor boy will be happy that ethan can now stop stealing his.

while i am thankful every day for the joy that this little boy has brought into our home, i'm also a little heart-sick over losing the four year old version of him. there's just something so great about FOUR. i know there will be lots to look forward to with five, but it feels a little like it's officially big boy stuff from now on, he can definitely no longer be considered just a little guy.

sigh.

it's a good thing, i have photos to remind me of how squishy he once was...

but i guess he is still pretty squishy.

and silly

and sweet.

ok, five is good too.

because i'm kind of a mess

if you know me, you know i love a good apron.
i mean really love a good apron.
mostly because i'm kind of a mess.
i'm not talking about emotionally either, because while that's probably true, that's a post for another day.
i mean i am a mess, in the kitchen especially.
i haven't learned the art of neat and tidy cooking.
but homemade goodness from the kitchen is usually worth it, so it's ok.
but not if it adds to my laundry pile.
and not if it requires me to change my clothes after every meal.
and not if i have to reach for the towel to dry my hands every ten seconds.
and so, i love a good apron.
and lucky for me, patsy has been sewing up a storm lately.

this photo doesn't even do it justice - it's so dang cute!
and i love the style, sort of old fashioned that doesn't tie around your neck.
and this morning, when i was making the kids' lunches,
i should've been wearing it.
because i wasn't.
and now my pajamas smell like tuna.
thanks patsy, i love you.

please pass the catch-up

it's late sunday evening, and i'm reveling in some quiet computer time - finally.
there have been about ten too many end-of-term projects going on at my house lately with three teenagers and their demanding school schedules. luckily, the end of term is coming soon. listen closely, and you may hear a collective deep breath on thursday when the school bell rings. we are all looking forward to a three day weekend.

i should be taking advantage of my turn on the computer, and the quiet house by taking care of some things on my "get it done" list. things like editing these loooong over due photos of my beautiful new niece.

or editing photos of this darling family whom i love.

or working on updated photos for grandma's apple tree.

but i can't.

because, my blog is nagging at me.

i have this dilemma .
i haven't been a consistent blogger since spring break, maybe even before that?
i don't want to try and catch up, because, that's a little too overwhelming, but i feel like for documenting purposes, i need to at least summarize what we've been up to in the last few months. so here goes.
starting with a summer recap.

i had mixed emotions all summer long.
i didn't want to spend the whole summer unpacking boxes and miss the time with my kids. especially because taylor will probably be working full time next summer saving money for school, because he will be a senior next year. what? that's a post for another day.
back to summer.

we spent a lot of time trying to cool off because the heat was such a bear!
sometimes cooling off involved the back yard hose,

or a local water park with friends or cousins, or friends that feel like cousins.

 or, eating as much frozen yogurt as humanely possible

 but some days the heat was so bad, all little ethan could handle was laying on the tramp with a squirt bottle to cool off.

 i learned how to tend roses this summer thanks to patsy, and allie enjoyed photographing them regularly!

of course we loved going to see toy story three!

and especially loved getting a copy of rich's game to play and play all summer long.

allie and taylor spent a week re-roofing, painting and cleaning up in a low-income area of salt lake with our church's youth group. i don't know why i don't have a photo of taylor, he looked just like a chimney sweep in mary poppins most days since he was tarring the roofs. a ton of hard and hot work, but they loved it!

i learned how to work the grill this summer thanks to my dad, and so we hosted several bbq get togethers which was so much fun! i love the easiness of bbq, everybody brings something, there's not a ton of preparation involved, eating outside, chating, our new little kids picnic table, love everything about it.

oh, and i got to hold and kiss the newest smith in the family, sweet little emmie cakes.
ethan is in love with her too. who isn't man? she's such a princess. and she smells so good.

and i guess these photos remind me that i also wore super bright red hair for a little bit of the summer.

 thanks to grandpa's nice ebay hook up - we also lagooned for a day with cousins.
this included, the green dragon which ethan LOVED (cole not so much), bumper cars, some more serious roller coaster riding by the older kids, me and grandpa, funnel cakes (of course), going up in the giant farris  wheel with grandpa, and allie winning at bingo at the ebay party!

 and we stayed until closing which meant that everyone slept like rocks that night.

 we celebrated our country's birthday, as well as our state's.

 and all the smith birthdays in august with the happiest little cupcakes we've ever made!

of course, we did a million things that we didn't take photos of - like unpacking boxes

furniture shopping 

trying to decorate the walls

lots and lots and lots of weed pulling - yuck

driving lessons

movie marathons
halo nights with friends and dad
girls' nights out
eclipse
reading and reading and reading
ethan finally got a hampster!!
and more...
i was sad for it to end.
especially since today, it was so cold, there was SNOW on the mountains. sheesh.

friends

everything is more fun with friends.

even your favorite morning show.

when i asked, ethan informed me that the lion is holding the remote because "he's the only one that knows how to work it, the other animals don't know what to do".

of course, what was i thinking?

naked cowboy

when their mommies haven't folded the laundry for a few days

and there's nothing they really want to wear left in their drawers

naked cowboys are forced to take matters into their own hands

and dig through the dryer themselves

and digging is serious business for a cowboy, especially a little one

it requires muscles

and using your head

and caring nothing for your own pride

did i mention flexibility?

and bravery too, because if you've ever seen the laundry pile, there's really no guarantee that you'll even come out of there alive

thirty six

there are plenty of things about thirty six that i can say i'm not super thrilled about. in fact, i could do a whole post devoted to this list. first on the list would be my neck, i'm not sure what's happening there, but i definitely don't like it. and my skin, my pores seem to be growing bigger by the year, what is that about? and the two lines in between my eyebrows extending up from my nose. they used to only be there when i was scowling or focusing too hard, now, they live there no matter the emotion. not pleasant. they make me want to rush off for collagen injections, something i said i would never do.

but since today is a celebration, a happy day, a day of rejoicing...ok, that's taking it too far, but a happy day at least, i thought i would make a list of things i adore about thirty six.

1. i don't need everyone to like me,  instead i try to focus on the quality of the relationships that i do have.

2. i don't sweat the small stuff as much as i used too. mostly because i recognize how temporary the small stuff is.

3. line upon line, and precept upon precept adds up to a firm testimony after thirty six years.

4. crying babies make me giggle instead of panic. except at the grocery store, i still feel the urge to rescue children and babies crying three isles over and will steer my cart in the direction of the crying just to check and make sure no one is pinching them. you know, just in case.

5. never buy a bathroom with a mirror that faces the toilet.

6. rubbermaid containers might be the key to happiness.

7. i understand the importance of supportive underwear, liquid make up (no more powder), hair dye and tweezers.

8. i recognize and respect my quirks. it's ok if i don't love public restrooms or movie theaters or being away from home or spiders or closed in spaces or that i cry in the fall when my kids go back to school, or that i totally dig electric blue eye liner. it's just part of me, and those things are just not important enough to worry too much about.

9. it turns out, the old people who said "time flies" (who i thought they were crazy because i was thirteen then, and that age seemed to drone on for eternity), were actually right. where HAS the time gone?

10. (and i'll stop here) purpose. i have a much greater sense of my purpose and responsibilities as a thirty six year old than i did say, ten years ago. and i'm more comfortable in that role, especially that of being a wife and mother.  i adore this (not so) little brood and hopefully nurturing them well will be my greatest accomplishment.

yup, thirty six is a-ok.

but seriously, does anyone know a good neck firming cream?

thirty seven

tonight we celebrated rich's thirty-seventh birthday for about thirty-seven minutes before everyone broke into different directions for various wednesday night activites. we made good use of the time though and managed to fit in eating dinner, singing happy birthday and opening gifts, and eating a cupcake all before the chaos began (although not in that order, i seem to recall cupcakes coming first).

his gifts included:
new smaller jeans to match his thinner body
a halo reach reservation for monday night's release.
a gift card from ethan to purchase a "family" game since he was disappointed we bought halo and he knows he can't play it.
and finally, a majorly nerd-ish gift which he bought for himself, a super fancy remote control which i don't really understand. but hey, it's what he wanted, so there's no arguing that.

i wish i could have gotten him tickets to the US open that he's been watching so intently this week. the man loves tennis, what can i say. but that may be a gift/trip may not be until we're in another stage of life. at least he got to enjoy it from his couch.

happy happy birthday to our super duper, more than totally awesome ricardo mas.

i love you dear.

and thanks for having a favorite cupcake that doesn't appeal to me in the slightest (yellow cake with chocolate frosting). that paired well with my calorie counting today.

pride of ownership

while trying on new school jeans, i asked allie to turn around and "show me the butt" because i wanted to see how they fit.
she proceeded to shake her bootie to spice things up.
it brought to my attention this tahitian hip gene my daughter possesses that i was previously unaware of.
how on earth does she DO that?



she definitely did not get that oval hip swaying motion ability from her mother.
nope.
nosiree.
no skill whatsoever from me.
i would say that ethan's "technique" more closely resembles my own.
and seriously?
what makes a mother more proud than her daughter shaking her bootie?

p.s. she's going to die when she realizes i posted this. sorry allie, it's just too funny not to share.

am i being punked?

ashton kutcher is going to pop out any second and tell me this is all a big practical joke - 

because for real i could not be old enough to have a sixteen year old...right? 

but alas, the calendar says it's true.

i can't believe it - it's like i blinked and all of the sudden, he's a man with hairy legs and a deep voice, not to mention feet as big as texas and long legs to match them. 

lucky for me, our family, and his friends, his heart is even bigger than that.

man i love this kid.

we celebrated with spaghetti and homemade meatballs, and, his favorite dessert, junket cake.

and the only thing he wanted this year - a new set of clubs, which i forgot to photograph but they are sa-weet thanks to a screaming deal on ksl.com - (local craig's list). we love recycling.

 happy happy birthday taylor bing!

i sure love ya buddy

the paper bib

sometimes you just have to...

sport the paper bib
embrace the old bay seasoning stuck in every little crack of your manicured finger nails
pop hush puppies even though you know they're just deep fried globs of corn meal
laugh at the seemingly misplaced sausage in your basket of seafood
eat your whole dinner with your fingers, including the red potatoes
fight to get every last little morsel of crab meat out of those darn legs

why? because life shouldn't always be neat and tidy.
hence, the bib.
thank you joe's crab shack, and my cute mom for choosing it.

neglecting my family

i'm sure i'm the last person on the planet to finally read this book, but i'm posting about it anyway. because...it's amazing and i think everyone should read it. for real. it's that good. it's a good thing that in a burst of rare energy i cleaned my house from top to bottom all day yesterday before i really got into this book, because heaven knows i didn't get a dang thing done with my nose buried in it today.  i love a book like that.

i could stand on my soap box for hours talking about the human race, and my inability to wrap my brain around racism in any form, my intolerance for human suffering and what my reaction would be if it were me, but i won't. instead, i'll just recommend this fantastic story and let you draw up your own opinions. so go get it, and neglect your house work. you're welcome.

i like my job

the computer doesn't represent "me" time any more. 

now when i sit down to the computer,  i have hundreds of photos to edit, literally, from the several shoots that i've done over the last six weeks. and while showing up for the shoot doesn't take a ton of time, getting the photos looking all awesome during editing, does. 

don't get me wrong, i am grateful for the work that seems to be flowing my way right now. all the extra cash has helped to pay for all the things that seem to pop up when you move into a new home, and some fun summer activities too. so it's all good. no complaining here.

but... i do miss blogging.

and reading other people's blogs.

and twittering.

and editing my own photos

and time-wasting activities in general.

but it's worth it. 

 because seriously, look how much fun i've been having...

this sweet girl - eight is such a lovely age. so innocent.

this super fun family getting ready to send off a missionary.

and these darling sisters that are so lovely that i wish i could be part of their family.

and oh this tiny baby girl that i kissed and contorted a little too much.

and one of my favorite families on the planet! 

love these guys!

ya, i really do have the best job! i loved hanging out with the families on all of these shoots and i was pretty happy with most of the results. i do feel like i need to take a class or get involved with some kind of project that doesn't involve photographing people just to stretch my creative wings a little bit. although landscapes and architecture aren't quite as friendly.

so it's a good thing that i like my job, because i have a few more shoots in the queue waiting for editing and a few more scheduled on the calender. i like it, even if it means i don't have time to blog right now....